Off The Cuff
Take what works, discard what doesn’t.
We're all unique even though our basic needs are the same.
We're all unique even though our basic needs are the same.
The relationship environment created by authority and parental figures in our formative years - as well as our choice of response - often determines our health and wellbeing throughout our lives. There is a simple test called the ACEs questionnaire that helps to quickly identify your Adverse Childhood Experience score. The ACEs website takes time to load, so please be patient. Those who score high may have suffered trauma that make them more likely to have chronic health problems that tend to worsen with aging. It is important to note that a given incidence on the questionnaire, like divorce, is not necessarily a trauma, but how divorce is handled within a family, often is. Still, divorce is worth tracking simply because few divorces are handled well when children are involved. The goal here is not to blame but to address and learn to prevent. We can prevent future health problems of the chronic sort by becoming better parents, teachers, supervisors, etc. To become better people, we must become better at relating to others, especially those in our charge. Relating Styles
Particularly when it comes to children, but also as an adult, the will and ability of each person determines how health problems manifest over time:
We can choose to relate in ways that contribute to trauma or help offset trauma. It is our choice. Let us choose the healthier way. Healing from TraumaOur past traumas show up in our present. We cannot change the past, but we can change how we respond in the present. There are probably many ways of accomplishing this. Most people will likely find themselves in need of professional help, but it can be done, individually, as well. A good place to start may be with trauma recovery specialist, Michele Rosenthal. I don't know her, but found her serendipitously. As I found my own way to healing the past, I can tell that Michele Rosenthal is on the right path. By right, I mean she is taking an approach that more closely resembles what I know to be needed for true healing to take place. We can heal from the past and we can change the future by changing the present: How we choose to relate to every person, place, or thing, matters. Trauma creates change you don't choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose. Michele Rosenthal Originally posted 4/25/2023
First published: 4/17/2019
Twenty years ago, one of my teachers, a gifted empath, said to me, "Your heart has been broken so many times that it cannot survive another." I accepted her statement as the truth I knew it was, without realizing it could turn into, or be, a medical problem.
Paula knows what it means to be blindly or covertly enslaved, which is why she's always been bit of a rebel with a cause. As a manual therapist, her main cause is to free her clients from bodily restrictions - and from dependence on therapists. Every client body that has been under Paula's hands has helped teach her how to get better at freeing the body. The biggest lesson learned from helping clients is that indoctrination, blame, complexity, diagnoses, and pressure are often smokescreens keeping us enslaved.
Examples of health-related enslavement:
Health problems can be scary, but they don't have to be if you see your own body as the truthful servant it is, asking for your help. Over time, these efforts build trust in self and the ability to help one's self, while reducing dependence on others. Let us be free. Those who truly know me would never accuse me of being narcissistic. And yet, … I have had my moments.
When I felt alone in the pain of extreme unfairness, I let myself be guided by well-meaning others into blaming my primary caregivers. But when I learned that I was not only alone, but in vast company, I let go of blame and started seeking understanding through the sometimes harsh light of truth. When I found myself unemployed along with millions of others at the start of this pandemic, I started to act like an entitled victim when I couldn’t get a job despite being broadly and highly competent. Yet I knew it was inappropriate to lay blame even as I did so. We all have moments where we slip and fall and don’t react like an accountable adult. Yet there are those who spend their lives feeling special and entitled while bitterly blaming others for all that has been denied them. Whether we are immature adults part-time or full-time, each and every one of us is responsible for elevating ourselves into maturity. Our world is in great need of every adult doing their part. I can think of no better spokesperson for self-maturity than Dr. Ramani, who manages to balance truth with vulnerability and courage in a way that can potentially move the mountain that is the suffering we have, all of us, brought upon ourselves. Life is challenging enough, let us not add unnecessary suffering to it. Let us be good-natured and steadfast in the face of unfairness and adversity for it is the only path to freedom for one and all. I am wind.
My wind cleanses. My wind refreshes. My wind topples the weak. Wind despises stagnation. Wind is not loud nor visible. Wind is not judgmental but responsive. I am wind. |
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AuthorI have the intelligence to know I am stupid, and the arrogance to experiment. Both are key scientific values. GoalTo express solution-oriented arguments toward a healthier self and world. InsightsWe can live without our thinking brain, but will die without our emotional brain. Listen to those first emotions, for the body never lies. Then do thoughtful diligence, because we often lie to ourselves. Archives
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