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Off The Cuff

Take what works, discard what doesn’t.
We're all unique even though our basic needs are the same.

The Real Cause of Loneliness?

4/21/2021

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Cute, lonely-looking puppy
Image credit: PicsbyFran via Pixabay
Today's entry was motivated by a PsychCentral article on loneliness and, particularly in America, the death of platonic hand-holding between adults. That article is now gone, and I have to wonder if it touched a collective sore spot. If it did, all the more reason to talk about the problem.

​I’ve depth and breadth of experience in the loneliness parade of one. Therefore I will say what most will not.

One of the key factors contributing to the legit continuation of loneliness has to do with the toxic behaviors that first swamped governments before bleeding into every crack and fissure of our lives.

Once upon a time, a touch was innocent and pure, as was a need fulfilled. Today, touch and service have become sexualized. Sexualization is what the weak and valueless use to gain a false sense of power and control.

With two exceptions, I have not known touch as an adult that was not about sex or control. As a bodywork professional, touch is only about healing. But in my personal life, touch has never felt healthy or innocent. Flashback style and decades later, I still feel the confusion from the hand-holding by a female friend. I didn’t stick around for the end of confusion because I already knew what the likely answer would be, and I didn’t want it.

I wanted the pureness of healthy intimacy that comes from both touch and frequency that has nothing to do with power or control. I don’t think this purity exists anymore. And that is exactly why we need to make it happen if we want to end the loneliness epidemic that is far more deadly than this corona pandemic.

I don’t claim to know how to make it happen, but I have had enough experience with the toxic to know that you must be both assertive to the point of blunt and also clear and tough as bulletproof glass.

We must hug - and show in every hug that it is about love and connection between friends, neighbors, and guests - and nothing more.

We must hold hands in public - and show with every swing of the arms that it is about love and connection between friends - and nothing more.

​We must reciprocate and initiate equally and frequently - and be clear as a pavlovian bell that it is about love and connection between decent human beings - and nothing more.

Fight loneliness by being brave and blunt on all fronts. Beat back all attempts at power and control, especially through sexualization, as if your life depends on it - because the quality of all our lives does depend on it.
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How to Live The Good Life

3/30/2021

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Mountain homes overlooking a fast, but dirty river
Photo: Jignesh Makwana via Pixabay
If there must be obligations in life
And there must
Then let’s be obligated
To tackle the problems before us
With good cheer. 
We’d have fun
And improve our lot
​At the same time.
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Free Yourself, Free Us All - End Bullying

3/24/2021

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Picture
A bully is any person who believes it is their right to mess with any person in any way, no matter how small. 

A bully can be of any age.
A bully can act and dress any part. 
​...


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Self Mastery

3/14/2021

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Picture
Every day is a do-over. Another chance to figure out how to create our own peace of mind and pure heart. This is how we heal our old wounds, our ancestral line, our traumas. 

No matter what is going on in the world, when the mind is at peace and the heart is pure we are able to move through anything. And by doing so we give hope to others.

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Be A World-Class Healer - No Degree Necessary!

11/27/2020

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Cute first aid frog
Image credit: Alexas Fotos via Pixabay
Assuming you do what you like and do it respectfully … 

If you like to show affection, you are a healer.
If you like to be trustworthy, you are a healer.
​If you like to beautify eyesores, you are a healer.
If you like to embrace diversity, you are a healer.
If you like to clothe those in need, you are a healer.
If you like to grow food for others, you are a healer.
If you like to clean that which is dirty, you are a healer.
If you like to prepare meals for others, you are a healer.
If you like to create order out of chaos, you are a healer.
If you like to repair that which is broken, you are a healer.
If you like to keep the ground free of litter, you are a healer.
If you like to teach people who want to learn, you are a healer.
If you like to encourage others to meet their potential, you are a healer.
If you like to let people know where they stand with you, you are a healer.
If you like to ease people’s minds without resorting to the lie, you are a healer.
If you like to treat miscreants of all ages with dignity and respect, you are a healer.
If you like to offer help when someone is struggling, and respect a no if you get it, you are a healer.
I you like to raise children to be respectful, self-sufficient, well-rounded, helpful, and resilient, you are a healer.
If you like to control yourself to avoid extremes, you are not only a healer, but also a lover of freedom - and you are needed in this world.
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Tune Up Your Personal Communication System

11/16/2020

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Colorful, abstract tree showing the visible above-ground and invisible below-ground structures of communication
Image credit: Gordon Johnson via Pixabay
Seeing may lead to believing
But some things can only be seen with the mind’s eye

Hearing may lead to understanding
But some things can only be heard with the mind’s ears

Feeling may lead to knowing
But some things can only be felt with the mind’s hands

Like any modern tech
Our bodies contain both wired and wireless communication systems

Physical senses communicate via the wired neural system
Mind senses communicate via a wireless plasma system

May we keep both communication networks free of debris
Pollutants come in many forms - Physical, Mental, and Emotional.
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Our Bipolar Universe and Selves

10/17/2020

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Picture
Picture
Picture

We live in a bipolar universe. 
There is nothing in existence that is not bipolar.
Bipolar means both/and are true, not either/or.
That means we need to learn to see — and balance — the bipolar in everything.
Select the best of both worlds and integrate them.
Including the best of our bipolar selves.
We are bipolar.
That is not a pathology.
Being unable or unwilling to balance our bipolar natures is where pathology can take hold.

Extroversion is pathological when it is not balanced with introversion.
Introversion is pathological when it is not balanced with extroversion.

Embrace our bipolar nature.
Become skilled at balancing every facet of the equal opposites within and without.
That’s a life skill I can get behind.
That’s how we end all wars for all time, too.
The wars within us, and without.

Image credits: Gerd Altmann, OpenClipart-Vectors, mohamed_hassan via Pixabay
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The Well Meaning Therapist

10/13/2020

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Photo of an open therapists office with two empty chairs facing each other
Image credit: Oliver Kepka via Pixabay
​Once upon a time, I sought the input from a psychologist. I’m sure she meant well.
 
She asked me, “What is your favorite color?”
“I have many favorite colors.” 

“But which is your favorite?”
“It’s difficult to choose! I only know I don’t like orange, does that answer your question?”

She showed visible frustration as she asked the next question, “What is your favorite flower?”

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Give and Take

10/12/2020

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A male and female supine hand facing each other, giving love to each other
Image credit: Gerd Altmann via Pixabay
​People who think only of what they can take from this life, create an unsustainable future of increasing terror. 

People who think only of what they can give to this life, create abundance for all, generation after generation.
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How To Stay Sane In An Insane World

10/8/2020

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Woman with mop and bucket in her own world, singing away
Image credit: mohamed_hassan via Pixabay
​If I was not allowed to be a little bit crazy, I would go crazy.
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    Author

    I have the intelligence to know I am stupid, and the arrogance to experiment. Both are key scientific values.

    Goal

    To express solution-oriented arguments toward a healthier self and world.

    Insights

    We can live without our thinking brain, but will die without our emotional brain.  Listen to those first emotions, for the body never lies. Then do thoughtful diligence, because we often lie to ourselves.​
    ---
    No 'system' is corrupt;

    each employee either does the most and best they can, or they choose to do the least they can get away with. 
    ---
    No technology is bad, each person who uses it chooses to behave or not within it.
    ---
    If we agree upon and prioritize a single core value, like integrity, everything we say and do would reflect that value, even as time, technology, and circumstances change.
    ---
    If we apply, for example, polarity physics to social communications and transactions, we would recognize the importance of balancing the best of both liberal and conservative aspects, instead of knee-jerking from one unbalanced extreme to another like a free radical.
    ---
    Emotions are vital yet never an adult's excuse for responding immaturely. Instead, see emotional spikes, whether positive or negative, as a sign to slow down, backup, and proceed with informed caution or a change in direction.

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Repairing the human body since 2003

Ms. Mae helps your body heal itself through innovative connective-tissue-cleansing bodywork and no-nonsense education.

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 Paula's Body Shop
Paula Mae, LMT
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The word 'massage' denotes Ms Mae's innovative connective tissue therapies led by expert palpation for noticeable before and after results, and derived from  professional training in: Swedish medical massage, Neuromuscular (NMT), Trigger Point, Massage Cupping, Reflexology, Acupressure, Shiatsu, and Smooth Gua Sha. She also employs vibrational therapies from dense to subtle like: Tok Sen (hammer massage) and BioSyntonie.​
  • Appointments
  • Praise
  • FAQ
  • About:
    • Paula Mae, LMT
    • Appointment Prep
    • Office Policies
    • Available Sessions
    • Paula's Massage Therapy
    • Palpation
    • Osteo Therapy
    • Connective Tissue Therapy
    • Trauma Informed Care
    • Biosyntonie
    • Tok Sen
    • Gua Sha
    • Massage Cupping
    • Foot Reflexology
    • EMF
    • Products Used: >
      • Herbals
      • Miracle II
  • Help
  • Thoughts