Today's entry was motivated by a PsychCentral article on loneliness and, particularly in America, the death of platonic hand-holding between adults. That article is now gone, and I have to wonder if it touched a collective sore spot. If it did, all the more reason to talk about the problem.

​I’ve depth and breadth of experience in the loneliness parade of one. Therefore I will say what most will not.

One of the key factors contributing to the legit continuation of loneliness has to do with the toxic behaviors that first swamped governments before bleeding into every crack and fissure of our lives.

Once upon a time, a touch was innocent and pure, as was a need fulfilled. Today, touch and service have become sexualized. Sexualization is what the weak and valueless use to gain a false sense of power and control.

With two exceptions, I have not known touch as an adult that was not about sex or control. As a bodywork professional, touch is only about healing. But in my personal life, touch has never felt healthy or innocent. Flashback style and decades later, I still feel the confusion from the hand-holding by a female friend. I didn’t stick around for the end of confusion because I already knew what the likely answer would be, and I didn’t want it.

I wanted the pureness of healthy intimacy that comes from both touch and frequency that has nothing to do with power or control. I don’t think this purity exists anymore. And that is exactly why we need to make it happen if we want to end the loneliness epidemic that is far more deadly than this corona pandemic.

I don’t claim to know how to make it happen, but I have had enough experience with the toxic to know that you must be both assertive to the point of blunt and also clear and tough as bulletproof glass.

We must hug - and show in every hug that it is about love and connection between friends, neighbors, and guests - and nothing more.

We must hold hands in public - and show with every swing of the arms that it is about love and connection between friends - and nothing more.

​We must reciprocate and initiate equally and frequently - and be clear as a pavlovian bell that it is about love and connection between decent human beings - and nothing more.

Fight loneliness by being brave and blunt on all fronts. Beat back all attempts at power and control, especially through sexualization, as if your life depends on it - because the quality of all our lives does depend on it.

If there must be obligations in life
And there must
Then let’s be obligated
To tackle the problems before us
With good cheer. 
We’d have fun
And improve our lot
​At the same time.

Assuming you do what you like and do it respectfully … 

If you like to show affection, you are a healer.
If you like to be trustworthy, you are a healer.
​If you like to beautify eyesores, you are a healer.
If you like to embrace diversity, you are a healer.
If you like to clothe those in need, you are a healer.
If you like to grow food for others, you are a healer.
If you like to clean that which is dirty, you are a healer.
If you like to prepare meals for others, you are a healer.
If you like to create order out of chaos, you are a healer.
If you like to repair that which is broken, you are a healer.
If you like to keep the ground free of litter, you are a healer.
If you like to teach people who want to learn, you are a healer.
If you like to encourage others to meet their potential, you are a healer.
If you like to let people know where they stand with you, you are a healer.
If you like to ease people’s minds without resorting to the lie, you are a healer.
If you like to treat miscreants of all ages with dignity and respect, you are a healer.
If you like to offer help when someone is struggling, and respect a no if you get it, you are a healer.
I you like to raise children to be respectful, self-sufficient, well-rounded, helpful, and resilient, you are a healer.
If you like to control yourself to avoid extremes, you are not only a healer, but also a lover of freedom - and you are needed in this world.

Seeing may lead to believing
But some things can only be seen with the mind’s eye

Hearing may lead to understanding
But some things can only be heard with the mind’s ears

Feeling may lead to knowing
But some things can only be felt with the mind’s hands

Like any modern tech
Our bodies contain both wired and wireless communication systems

Physical senses communicate via the wired neural system
Mind senses communicate via a wireless plasma system

May we keep both communication networks free of debris
Pollutants come in many forms - Physical, Mental, and Emotional.

We live in a bipolar universe. 
There is nothing in existence that is not bipolar.
Bipolar means both/and are true, not either/or.
That means we need to learn to see — and balance — the bipolar in everything.
Select the best of both worlds and integrate them.
Including the best of our bipolar selves.
We are bipolar.
That is not a pathology.
Being unable or unwilling to balance our bipolar natures is where pathology can take hold.

Extroversion is pathological when it is not balanced with introversion.
Introversion is pathological when it is not balanced with extroversion.

Embrace our bipolar nature.
Become skilled at balancing every facet of the equal opposites within and without.
That’s a life skill I can get behind.
That’s how we end all wars for all time, too.
The wars within us, and without.

​Once upon a time, I sought the input from a psychologist. I’m sure she meant well.
 
She asked me, “What is your favorite color?”
“I have many favorite colors.” 

“But which is your favorite?”
“It’s difficult to choose! I only know I don’t like orange, does that answer your question?”

She showed visible frustration as she asked the next question, “What is your favorite flower?”

​People who think only of what they can take from this life, create an unsustainable future of increasing terror. 

People who think only of what they can give to this life, create abundance for all, generation after generation.