Today's entry was motivated by a PsychCentral article on loneliness and, particularly in America, the death of platonic hand-holding between adults. That article is now gone, and I have to wonder if it touched a collective sore spot. If it did, all the more reason to talk about the problem.

​I’ve depth and breadth of experience in the loneliness parade of one. Therefore I will say what most will not.

One of the key factors contributing to the legit continuation of loneliness has to do with the toxic behaviors that first swamped governments before bleeding into every crack and fissure of our lives.

Once upon a time, a touch was innocent and pure, as was a need fulfilled. Today, touch and service have become sexualized. Sexualization is what the weak and valueless use to gain a false sense of power and control.

With two exceptions, I have not known touch as an adult that was not about sex or control. As a bodywork professional, touch is only about healing. But in my personal life, touch has never felt healthy or innocent. Flashback style and decades later, I still feel the confusion from the hand-holding by a female friend. I didn’t stick around for the end of confusion because I already knew what the likely answer would be, and I didn’t want it.

I wanted the pureness of healthy intimacy that comes from both touch and frequency that has nothing to do with power or control. I don’t think this purity exists anymore. And that is exactly why we need to make it happen if we want to end the loneliness epidemic that is far more deadly than this corona pandemic.

I don’t claim to know how to make it happen, but I have had enough experience with the toxic to know that you must be both assertive to the point of blunt and also clear and tough as bulletproof glass.

We must hug - and show in every hug that it is about love and connection between friends, neighbors, and guests - and nothing more.

We must hold hands in public - and show with every swing of the arms that it is about love and connection between friends - and nothing more.

​We must reciprocate and initiate equally and frequently - and be clear as a pavlovian bell that it is about love and connection between decent human beings - and nothing more.

Fight loneliness by being brave and blunt on all fronts. Beat back all attempts at power and control, especially through sexualization, as if your life depends on it - because the quality of all our lives does depend on it.

If there must be obligations in life
And there must
Then let’s be obligated
To tackle the problems before us
With good cheer. 
We’d have fun
And improve our lot
​At the same time.

Birds on a wire are a common sight.
Yet this particular photo stimulated my curious side.
Stray EMF (electromagnetic fields) can be potently addictive.
I've witnessed and corrected the phenomenon enough to know.
I also know that people struggle to believe.
​I understand the struggle.
Now I wonder:
Do birds get addicted to EMF, too?
​Does it dehydrate them on a cellular level, too?
Does it affect the functioning of their brains, too?
Does it cause chronic illness, too?
Certainly it is a doable experiment should science choose it.

Assuming you do what you like and do it respectfully … 

If you like to show affection, you are a healer.
If you like to be trustworthy, you are a healer.
​If you like to beautify eyesores, you are a healer.
If you like to embrace diversity, you are a healer.
If you like to clothe those in need, you are a healer.
If you like to grow food for others, you are a healer.
If you like to clean that which is dirty, you are a healer.
If you like to prepare meals for others, you are a healer.
If you like to create order out of chaos, you are a healer.
If you like to repair that which is broken, you are a healer.
If you like to keep the ground free of litter, you are a healer.
If you like to teach people who want to learn, you are a healer.
If you like to encourage others to meet their potential, you are a healer.
If you like to let people know where they stand with you, you are a healer.
If you like to ease people’s minds without resorting to the lie, you are a healer.
If you like to treat miscreants of all ages with dignity and respect, you are a healer.
If you like to offer help when someone is struggling, and respect a no if you get it, you are a healer.
I you like to raise children to be respectful, self-sufficient, well-rounded, helpful, and resilient, you are a healer.
If you like to control yourself to avoid extremes, you are not only a healer, but also a lover of freedom - and you are needed in this world.

Seeing may lead to believing
But some things can only be seen with the mind’s eye

Hearing may lead to understanding
But some things can only be heard with the mind’s ears

Feeling may lead to knowing
But some things can only be felt with the mind’s hands

Like any modern tech
Our bodies contain both wired and wireless communication systems

Physical senses communicate via the wired neural system
Mind senses communicate via a wireless plasma system

May we keep both communication networks free of debris
Pollutants come in many forms - Physical, Mental, and Emotional.

Internal and UX technical documentation were always just a part of the job during my computing days. However, two self-inflicted projects that were not part of the job stand out and are why I humorously label myself an 'accidental' technical writer.

When Innovation is Needed
At my first computer programming gig while taking my first computer programming course, COBOL II, I kept encountering textbook instructions that made no sense - or worse, made me feel dumb. I believe in taking initiative to change what needs to be changed for the better, and it starts with analysis of the problem.

Break It Down
I asked questions of the pros. I broke down the process. I played with the parts until I figured it all out. Once clear, I rewrote the instructions in a logical and intuitive way.

Make It Accessible
I put those many technical rewrites in a “Cheat Sheets” file and let my bosses know, just in case. Much to my surprise, it was the college's computer professors who needed help with the very same instructions that had baffled me! Over the years, it felt good to get a call and have the director ask, "Do you have a cheat sheet on x?"

Sometimes, Be a Rebel
At another company I worked for, our computer coding designs kept getting rejected by management. This stalled our system contracts into overtime. Managements' rejections were based on unwritten rules that changed from manager to manager – and sometimes from day to day. So, I solicited and received permission to write a coding standards manual. It worked. Programmers stopped getting their code rejected, and a system design was written that was so uniformly- and well-documented that the company received a commendation letter from a major government client. Not everything should be standardized, but that which benefits from standardization should be. 

Whether personal or professional, and regardless of industry, my goal is to identify what needs improving and then design the best solution possible under existing conditions and materials at hand.

Good Design

• Solves problems at their root
• Is intuitive, flawless, and efficient to the point of being a pleasure to use
• Requires little-to-no training or documentation
• Prevents the fires we all tire of putting out.

For Example
At a growing bank-holding company I worked for, chronic problems existed in keeping customer relationships and name-and-address-change data consistent from bank to bank, product to product, and department to department across a tristate area. The complex and convoluted Customer Information System, purchased to solve those problems often made them worse. So, I designed an integrated, simplified, central name-and-address-change system. It worked without fail across all banks, departments, and their varying systems, it required no training or end-user documentation, and the system never broke or crashed under my supervision. It did, however, alert the FBI to an organized theft ring working out of two of the three credit bureaus! 

​Global Lesson
Peculiarly, I found a distinct correlation between my two careers, computers and their applications and people and their pains: Relationship quality matters! Whether we are relating to ourselves, other people, nations, plants, animals, or property, the quality of our relationships determines personal, societal, and planetary wellness. For real. Quality relationships depend on a respectful approach and attitude, honesty, transparency, and forthrightness, all of which lead to great designs, everywhere. Everyone and everything benefits from great design. I would even be so bold to suggest that nothing exists except how we choose to relate to every person, place, or thing - and on the job, within every process.

My Request
For the above reasons and more, there is no single career avenue or industry for me and likely never will be. There is only this: Could you use someone like me and would I enjoy working with you? I'm seeking something worthy, remote, and long-term. Perhaps a part- or flexible-time consulting position. Perhaps any position where what you need is someone alerting you to your hidden problems, wherever they might be, so that your business runs more efficiently and pleasantly for your employees and your customers.
Thank you.