The ABCs of Love in Balance

This was a self-discovery exercise done during the pandemic. If I did this 100 times, I would come up with 100 different answers, yet they would still be all the same. Live this way and you will find peace even in turmoil.

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A is for a Helpful Attitude

​To be helpful in balance means ...

• Offer help when someone is struggling
• Give help when help is wanted
• Limit help to those who authentically can and do work to help themselves.

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B is for Balance

Balance means ...

• Use emotions as key information, yet be neutral before acting
• Seek to understand both sides even if in disagreement, yet act for the highest good
• Find a way to make every transaction, physical, mental, or emotional, fair and just.

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C is for Confidence

Confidence in balance means ...

• You trust yourself to do right; and if you goof, you admit it, correct, and move on
• Failure after best efforts is neither feared nor condemned
• You are proud of hard-earned efforts, both yours and others.

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D is for Devotion

Devotion in balance means ...

• Refusing to harm, even as you may have been harmed 
• Doing right even when you aren’t being watched
• Truth is top priority even if it’s inconvenient, ugly, or painful - as most truths are.

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E is for Environment

Environment in balance means … 

• It feels so good to be at home because we keep it clean, organized, and nice
• It feels so good to be at work because there’s joy in accomplishment
• It feels so good to be with friends and family, because we choose to care and be supportive.

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F is for Flexible

Flexible in balance means … 

• First, parents teach their kids to be responsible adults - and then let them go to be so
• We focus on the positive aspects of opposites, like what liberals and conservatives have in common
• Just because science doesn’t yet understand, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.

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G is for Guaranteed

Guaranteed in balance means … 

• There is nothing in existence that is not made of love energy, because love is everything - the dark and the light and everything in between and outside
• Love is guaranteed to be something you can create or destroy with - the choice is yours
• While far from guaranteed if looking for it in others, if you soften your own heart and commit to it, daily, you are guaranteed to find love within; how long it takes will be unique to each person.

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H is for Honesty


Honesty in balance means … 

• Being honest with ourselves, first, for it is key to knowing how to be honest with others
• Using honesty to reassure the young, the sick, loved ones, the unsure, and the struggling, and to show the disrespectful where the boundaries are around our deep values
• Never succumbing to the sweet lie over compassionate honesty.

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I is for Identity

Identity in balance means … 

• I know what my core values are, why I have them, and how to stick to them, even under pressure from others whose values may not match or are over a line I do not wish to cross
• My every action is in alignment with my values, especially during challenging moments
• I accept that everyone has their own identity, so instead of needing people to be like me or projecting my values onto those I do not know, I take the time to get to know people’s values and find a way to appreciate our differences, even if it means we aren’t likely to be friends.

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J is for Justice

Justice in balance means … 

• Peace of mind
• I do not confuse accidents with intentional harm
• I know that subtle/quantum level injustice is when a communication, service, or other transaction feels out of balance, and I assertively take (legal) steps to bring it into balance
• When I or another have been emotionally, mentally, or physically harmed, I tame my emotions and refuse to seek vengeance or revenge; I seek only restitution that matches any harm done, or else I choose to forgive - but never prematurely.

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K is for Kind

Kind in balance means … 

• Engaging, without cruelty and without spoiling
• Patience without judgment, while letting others be responsible for their own actions
• Welcoming all cultural differences while refusing to condone violence of body, mind, or spirit of the Earth or its inhabitants.

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L is for Longing

Longing in balance means … 

• Never giving up nor succumbing too soon
• Remembering what is worth seeking and seeking to be worthy
• Our heart is still guiding and we are still listening.

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M is for Magic

Magic in balance means …

• Knowing that everything exists on a spectrum …
• That there is a “sweet spot” worth seeking on each and every spectrum …
• And inside the “sweet spot” lies real life magic - yet it’s not magic at all - yet it’s magical.

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N is for Nuance

Nuance in balance means …

• Adjusting temperature up or down by one or two degrees instead of ten
• Movement leads from the joints and muscles follow along in support
• Hearing what’s in a person’s heart when they speak more than the words chosen.

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O is for Optimism

Optimism in balance means …

• Seeing reality as it is and choosing to be optimistic, anyway
• Dealing with problems head-on without losing optimism
• Choosing to take beneficial action, regardless.

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P is for Purity

Purity in balance means …

• We know there is no such thing as 100% pure just as there is no such thing as perfection
• We know contamination is a given and has purpose, yet we strive to keep contaminants to a minimum
• We do not reject the contaminated because otherwise we must reject ourselves and our planet.

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Q is for Quality

Quality in balance means …

• We strive to be a good role model - not to seek perfection, but to relax and serve others in order to be a part of the solution to humanity’s problems
• We strive to have a good attitude - not to manipulate, but to relax and serve others in order to be a part of the solution to humanity’s problems
• We strive to have healthy, sustainable beliefs - not to seek superiority, but to live a life of quality in balance and in peace.

Image via Pixabay

R is for Ready

Ready in balance means …

• Ready for adventure AND ready to prevent problems
• Ready to help AND ready to leave people be to help themselves, first
• Ready to believe AND ready to investigate
• Ready to stay AND ready to go …

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S is for Sane

Sane in balance means …

• Assessing for intelligence and logic, while being open to unknowns and nuances
• Taking life seriously, yet light enough so as not to become jaded
• Being mindful, while respecting strong emotions in either direction as the legit warning flags they are.

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T is for Tenacity

Tenacity in balance means …

• Accepting the things that truly cannot be changed in the moment, WHILE working quietly and diligently to create change for the better
• Understanding that equality must be actively sought generation after generation, because humanity is slow to learn due to fears that drive selfishness
• We know easy and instant wins never satisfy in the long run, so we enthusiastically dig in for the long-haul. 

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U is for United

United in balance means …

• We don’t blindly follow a crowd, we follow those whose heads and hearts are connected in balanced, nonviolent righteousness
• We know that loyalty to people is earned, not given, and once earned must continue to be earned
• We agree to progress together respectfully and cooperatively, assessing as we go, non-judgmentally.

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V is for Visceral

Visceral in balance means …

• First and foremost we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the body never lies, so we train ourselves to listen
• However, if we have caused our body to become addicted to sugars or sugar-like substances, then it is upon us to learn the difference between the body’s truth and it’s addictive cries
• Equally, if we have allowed our egos to be in charge instead of curated to serve, then it is upon us to learn the difference between the body’s truth and the ego’s selfish, short-sighted demands.

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W is for Wisdom

Wisdom in balance means …

• Our foundational life goal is to find the wisdom hidden in all things AND do so with a sense of adventure
• Books and classrooms are helpful, but only if balanced with hands-on experiences
• Insights are a byproduct of wisdom-finding and generate feel-good chemicals that can become addictive if taken too seriously.
• Wisdom can be lonely, so seek the company of others who value wisdom-seeking as a foundation life goal.

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X is for Xenial 

xenial, adjective: “of, relating to, or constituting hospitality or relations between host and guest and especially among the ancient Greeks between persons of different cities”

Xenial in balance means …

• Every person before us, wherever we go, is an opportunity to build xenial relationships with the goal of building trust.

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Y is for Youthful

Youthful in balance means …

• Staying young at heart until the day you die, without crossing the line into immaturity
• Romance is sprinkled about to keep love young, but never replaces the importance of embracing reality
• Play is meant to be kind, fun, and mutually satisfying at any age, yet time and place matter.

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Z is for Zany

Zany in balance means …

• Smiling at the unwritten rules and breaking them because you know unwritten rules are unwritten for a reason
• Looking at the impossible and seeking a solution, anyway
• Embracing the impulses of our beautiful hearts, mind, and bodies, because we trust ourselves to do no harm and to allow no harm to come to us.

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Originally published September, 2020.