Summary About Paula's Trauma Informed Care
- If you have trauma-based reactions like ticklishness or fearing to be touched, you will be respected. These reactions are often trust based, and Paula is highly skilled at shifting an untrusting body into a trusting state, which is an open-to-healing state.
- If you arrive in a traumatic state, she will shift healing gears and attend to disbursing the trauma, first. Regular healing therapy does not work while trauma is alive. It is pointless and potentially damaging to even try. Paula's methods are so effective that even highly traumatic conditions like frozen shoulder have been 80% improved in just one visit.
- She will never lie to you, because lies fuel trauma. In fact, she has been described as "honest to a fault."
- She will never force you or manipulate you into taking her advice. In fact, she is nearly famous for telling clients, "Don't listen to a word I say, but if something resonates with you, by all means go check it out for yourself."
- She is here for you, but she will never manipulate you into seeing her. Her bottom line is making a difference in your health and well being, and making a living - not making a profit.
- Whether trauma is present or not, Paula cannot do it alone. Healing requires both parties being willing to trust and willing to do their best. If you need help with that, say so, for it is your best bet at opening the door to trust.
- There are those who believe their illnesses or traumas are an excuse to be demanding or worse, however such attitudes and behaviors will not be tolerated, and such clients will not be accepted into the practice.
Trauma Informed Care
Trauma is a result of physical or interpersonal injury that comes in a myriad of ways, but a hallmark of trauma is pain with inhibited healing.
Paula is a gifted healer that has studied trauma from the inside out. She has an instinctive, informed, gentle-yet-firm approach that promotes and speeds healing. The primary caveat? The traumatized must be willing to trust for the duration of the session.
Some injuries can take time to be willing to trust, and that's okay. When you are ready, Paula is here.
Paula is a gifted healer that has studied trauma from the inside out. She has an instinctive, informed, gentle-yet-firm approach that promotes and speeds healing. The primary caveat? The traumatized must be willing to trust for the duration of the session.
Some injuries can take time to be willing to trust, and that's okay. When you are ready, Paula is here.
Traumatic Injury
Unhealed traumatic injury can have a global or local affect on the body.
- Physical traumas tend to be nerve, connective tissue, or area specific.
- Ticklishness is often trauma's childhood shadow.
- Relationship traumas tend to affect the mind and emotions, leading to chronic health problems.
Natural Trauma
Life is filled with traumas of the "natural" variety. Death, accident, injury, illness, and catastrophic weather events are so natural, they should be expected and prepared for. Natural traumas are easier for the mind to accept, cope with, and heal from.
However, the more we avoid thinking about life's natural traumas, the more traumatized we will be when they inevitably happen. Neither do we want to morbidly obsess about them!
The logical, caring approach is to never take good times for granted. When the inevitable happens, we are wise to put our energy into what needs to be done, then allow ourselves time to heal after its over.
However, the more we avoid thinking about life's natural traumas, the more traumatized we will be when they inevitably happen. Neither do we want to morbidly obsess about them!
The logical, caring approach is to never take good times for granted. When the inevitable happens, we are wise to put our energy into what needs to be done, then allow ourselves time to heal after its over.
Unnatural Trauma - In a Nutshell
- Unnatural traumas come from unhealthy interpersonal relations.
- Unnatural traumas are easy to hide and hard to prove.
- Unnatural traumas are most often sanctioned, noncriminal, covert abuses, many of which get labeled as corruption.
- Unnatural trauma is abuse.
Unnatural Trauma - In Painful Detail
Unnatural traumas are the troubling ones simply because they are man-made and mostly preventable!
Man-made traumas are born of refusing to acknowledge and learn from our own mistakes. Instead of working together in service to one another by choice, many exhibit fear-based, trauma-inducing behaviors like assumptions, judgment, villainizing, idolizing, lying, manipulation, abandonment, making threats, being demanding, gaslighting, etc. To not be found out, the traumatizers become the proverbial wolves in sheep's clothing. Over time, the outcome within the victims is trauma that is difficult to identify and sometimes impossible to heal. Mainstream medicine is still by and large oblivious to covert relationship trauma and the effects on the health of the victims, so people rightly seek help through alternative medicine.
Because unnatural traumas are so preventable, it is a form of insanity not to prevent them.
Read that statement again and again until it sinks in. We cannot prevent what we still refuse to recognize. Yet self-induced insanity exists. And, it is tearing apart and inflaming the social connections we need to survive and thrive. Fortunately, many a neuroscientist, psychology experts, connective tissue researchers, and more are catching on. We must catch on. We must be determined to get to the whole, balanced truth, and respond responsibly.
The truth is that our insane attitudes and behaviors create cognitive and emotional dissonance in the sanest of people. In time, these man-made traumas cause a sticky tangle of mental, emotional, and physical pathology, often in the form of depression, anxiety, inflammation, nervous system disorders, autoimmune disease, and even antisocial behavior. Man-made trauma is so illogical and insane that it can be impossible for a logical, sane person to identify the issue - as is being done here, for you. Man-made trauma is so insane, it can cause an innocent person to go insane. However, stating the facts of this kind of trauma is how we find our way back to each other. And we must. We need each other.
The more we avoid learning about or taking action on the many nuanced ways unnatural trauma invades our lives, from the family all the way up to our governing institutions, the more unnatural traumas will continue to grow like unchecked mold. However, we must also be careful not to go on proverbial witch hunts against such behaviors.
The logical, caring approach is to select core values that are scientifically sound, and openly live them. Integrity and bravery are an excellent choice. Make these few but potent values a priority in our homes, schools, jobs, and recreational areas. Choose values that know no national or cultural boundaries, simply because they are scientifically sound therefore worthy of being global values. And the number one umbrella value that can return us to a sane, thriving community is the commitment to goodness with a good attitude. When we wish good to all and not just ourselves or our own, we change the social fabric from one that is fraying to one that endures. The way things are and have been is not the way they need to continue, but it's up to us to make the changes within ourselves of the kind that sets sensible boundaries and is not afraid to say no. Eg. When we mock, shame, criticize, and make goodness for goodness' sake wrong, that is the number one sign of the path to social insanity. Whatever core values we decide on, define their acceptable/non-acceptable boundaries and be both firm and flexible, avoiding moral judgment at all costs. When we choose to be firm and flexible and seek to learn from our mistakes and refuse to villainize or idolize, we put ourselves on a path that rebuilds trust between all of us, and heals trauma's wounds, leaving only the battle scars behind.
Man-made traumas are born of refusing to acknowledge and learn from our own mistakes. Instead of working together in service to one another by choice, many exhibit fear-based, trauma-inducing behaviors like assumptions, judgment, villainizing, idolizing, lying, manipulation, abandonment, making threats, being demanding, gaslighting, etc. To not be found out, the traumatizers become the proverbial wolves in sheep's clothing. Over time, the outcome within the victims is trauma that is difficult to identify and sometimes impossible to heal. Mainstream medicine is still by and large oblivious to covert relationship trauma and the effects on the health of the victims, so people rightly seek help through alternative medicine.
Because unnatural traumas are so preventable, it is a form of insanity not to prevent them.
Read that statement again and again until it sinks in. We cannot prevent what we still refuse to recognize. Yet self-induced insanity exists. And, it is tearing apart and inflaming the social connections we need to survive and thrive. Fortunately, many a neuroscientist, psychology experts, connective tissue researchers, and more are catching on. We must catch on. We must be determined to get to the whole, balanced truth, and respond responsibly.
The truth is that our insane attitudes and behaviors create cognitive and emotional dissonance in the sanest of people. In time, these man-made traumas cause a sticky tangle of mental, emotional, and physical pathology, often in the form of depression, anxiety, inflammation, nervous system disorders, autoimmune disease, and even antisocial behavior. Man-made trauma is so illogical and insane that it can be impossible for a logical, sane person to identify the issue - as is being done here, for you. Man-made trauma is so insane, it can cause an innocent person to go insane. However, stating the facts of this kind of trauma is how we find our way back to each other. And we must. We need each other.
The more we avoid learning about or taking action on the many nuanced ways unnatural trauma invades our lives, from the family all the way up to our governing institutions, the more unnatural traumas will continue to grow like unchecked mold. However, we must also be careful not to go on proverbial witch hunts against such behaviors.
The logical, caring approach is to select core values that are scientifically sound, and openly live them. Integrity and bravery are an excellent choice. Make these few but potent values a priority in our homes, schools, jobs, and recreational areas. Choose values that know no national or cultural boundaries, simply because they are scientifically sound therefore worthy of being global values. And the number one umbrella value that can return us to a sane, thriving community is the commitment to goodness with a good attitude. When we wish good to all and not just ourselves or our own, we change the social fabric from one that is fraying to one that endures. The way things are and have been is not the way they need to continue, but it's up to us to make the changes within ourselves of the kind that sets sensible boundaries and is not afraid to say no. Eg. When we mock, shame, criticize, and make goodness for goodness' sake wrong, that is the number one sign of the path to social insanity. Whatever core values we decide on, define their acceptable/non-acceptable boundaries and be both firm and flexible, avoiding moral judgment at all costs. When we choose to be firm and flexible and seek to learn from our mistakes and refuse to villainize or idolize, we put ourselves on a path that rebuilds trust between all of us, and heals trauma's wounds, leaving only the battle scars behind.
Relationship Trauma
Relationship, as used here, is how we we relate to whomever we must live or work or socialize with.
A primary example of an unnatural trauma within a relationship is when your trust is repeatedly betrayed by someone that represents an important part of your identity. We all can inadvertently betray someone's trust on rare occasions, but abuse is when our trust is intentionally or repeatedly betrayed. Betrayal takes many forms when seen from the surface, but underneath all ongoing betrayal is a form of trust abuse.
A primary example of an unnatural trauma within a relationship is when your trust is repeatedly betrayed by someone that represents an important part of your identity. We all can inadvertently betray someone's trust on rare occasions, but abuse is when our trust is intentionally or repeatedly betrayed. Betrayal takes many forms when seen from the surface, but underneath all ongoing betrayal is a form of trust abuse.
Trust Abuse
Being falsely accused or misjudged with no apparent concern for the truth is a toxic, unnatural abuse of trust. When an innocent is falsely accused or misjudged, it is also an insidious form of gaslighting. "Innocent until proven guilty" is a wise mindset and mandate that would curb this problem, from the home and work family as well as the courts, but has been losing ground due to the slow, steady normalization of covert abuse.
Covert Abuse
Covert abuse is most easily defined as suffering from something you cannot prove. Covert abuse is common where a person has authority over others, and that includes parents, teachers, and health professionals, both mainstream and alternative. When you suffer abuse from the very people who are supposed to help, protect, and care about you, life can become a living nightmare.
Covert Abuse Examples
If you were in genuine need of help, and were disbelieved, misjudged, told it was all in your head, or scoffed at, you were abused. If this happens too often, it can worsen your health. Certainly, you would lose trust in the professional, yet might also succumb to the pressure of trusting them, anyway, because they are professionals. It is a vicious cycle. Another form of abuse happens when a healthcare professional cons or pressures you to obey them, including coming in for regular/frequent visits. The healthy professional tells you what you need to know, then lets you decide your priorities.
Breaking The Trauma Cycle
Paula provides this information not only to ease the fears of traumatized newcomers to her practice, but to spread awareness that too much of what society has normalized is self-sabotaging and reduces our wellbeing and happiness. The traumatized suffer enough, yet suffering can help us become smarter, stronger people if we are willing to face the problem, gently, firmly, and bravely.
The good news is that we can heal ourselves from unnatural traumas, but we must be willing to face the truth of our abusers: They know what they are doing and they don't care who they hurt; their bottom line is all about themselves and their narrow tribe.
Just because covert abuse is difficult to prove, we can still make a difference:
The good news is that we can heal ourselves from unnatural traumas, but we must be willing to face the truth of our abusers: They know what they are doing and they don't care who they hurt; their bottom line is all about themselves and their narrow tribe.
Just because covert abuse is difficult to prove, we can still make a difference:
- Refuse to remain blind to the truth of abusers;
- Document your experiences, such that over time the pattern of abuse is revealed;
- Set firm, flexible boundaries around your core values;
- Practice saying no calmly and without explanation;
- Refuse to allow the normalization of betrayal-style attitudes and behaviors that lead to so much unnecessary suffering.
- Above all, we must be brave enough to face the problem without becoming like our abusers: Take a stand or get away if it is safe, yet wish no harm and do no harm so that the cycle of abuse gets broken.
World View Change
Too often we have extreme views of our world: People are either all good underneath, or all bad. Neither is true. Down deep, everyone is who they choose to be, regardless of personal history, race, culture, nationality, or status.
Life is difficult for everyone without needing our help. Some, will use normal life difficulties as an excuse to become either too selfish or too selfless. Either, leads to societal imbalance like we see, now. And, complementary opposites really do attract, so the selfish and selfless inevitably find each other entwined and miserable.
Despite life's difficulties, we can prioritize the choice to be a good and useful member of society, caring about both ourselves AND each other, and with a good-natured attitude. The key is to never give up, at least not for long. When we finally and collectively choose to never give up, those "unnatural" traumas will become and remain a thing of the past - as long as we also never forget what we learned and why it is important to "nip problems in the bud."
Life is difficult for everyone without needing our help. Some, will use normal life difficulties as an excuse to become either too selfish or too selfless. Either, leads to societal imbalance like we see, now. And, complementary opposites really do attract, so the selfish and selfless inevitably find each other entwined and miserable.
Despite life's difficulties, we can prioritize the choice to be a good and useful member of society, caring about both ourselves AND each other, and with a good-natured attitude. The key is to never give up, at least not for long. When we finally and collectively choose to never give up, those "unnatural" traumas will become and remain a thing of the past - as long as we also never forget what we learned and why it is important to "nip problems in the bud."
Relationship Trauma Resources
Sadly, yet fortunately, trauma informed education is widely available today. Listed here are a select few favorites. They are generally free, and contain direct insights and solutions. They have been chosen, in part, because the authors have lived their experiences, healed, and gone on to make it their mission to help others. This is a situation where victims are best served by those who have lived it, recovered from it, and know how to teach it. Paula has lived it and wants to help others with this long recovery process, because it is deeply worth finding out who you really are - trauma can mask or trap your true self.
Super Traits - PTSD - The Gentle Life
Safe Relationships Magazine with Sandra L. Brown, M. A. - Note especially the recordings on the right column where she discusses "super traits" - which shines a needed light on the problem and language of codependency. Sign up for her newsletter for ongoing reminders, education, and support, for this educator is on the right healing path. Her work focuses on partner relationship trauma, but applies just as equally to family and co-worker relationship trauma.
"PTSD is an anxiety disorder that is often reactivated by ‘triggers’. These can include people, places, things, or sensory feelings that reconnect you with the trauma of the relationship. In the last newsletter, I talked briefly about the gentle life and how an overtaxed and anxious body/mind needs a soothing life. I cannot stress this enough: people MUST remember that their PTSD symptoms CAN BE reactivated if they aren’t taking care of themselves and living a gentle life.
"What IS a gentle life? A gentle life is a life lived remembering the sensitivities of your PTSD. It isn’t ignored or wished away—it is considered and compensated for. Since PTSD affects one physically, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually—all of those elements need to be considered in a gentle life. Just as if you had diabetes you would consider what to eat or what medication you need to take, so it is with PTSD." - Excerpted from Safe Relationships Magazine Newsletter posted Aug. 20, 2024
Safe Relationships Magazine with Sandra L. Brown, M. A. - Note especially the recordings on the right column where she discusses "super traits" - which shines a needed light on the problem and language of codependency. Sign up for her newsletter for ongoing reminders, education, and support, for this educator is on the right healing path. Her work focuses on partner relationship trauma, but applies just as equally to family and co-worker relationship trauma.
"PTSD is an anxiety disorder that is often reactivated by ‘triggers’. These can include people, places, things, or sensory feelings that reconnect you with the trauma of the relationship. In the last newsletter, I talked briefly about the gentle life and how an overtaxed and anxious body/mind needs a soothing life. I cannot stress this enough: people MUST remember that their PTSD symptoms CAN BE reactivated if they aren’t taking care of themselves and living a gentle life.
"What IS a gentle life? A gentle life is a life lived remembering the sensitivities of your PTSD. It isn’t ignored or wished away—it is considered and compensated for. Since PTSD affects one physically, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually—all of those elements need to be considered in a gentle life. Just as if you had diabetes you would consider what to eat or what medication you need to take, so it is with PTSD." - Excerpted from Safe Relationships Magazine Newsletter posted Aug. 20, 2024
Identifying The Problem
The MEND Project, while faith-based, is primarily an education and healing project that does an excellent job of documenting the problem for identification. They now have a YouTube channel where copies of online lectures can be found, in addition to their main website. You may want to start with these two, excellent articles:
Trauma Bonding Explained - In faith-based relationships, the trauma bond feels even more impossible to escape from. Whether faith-based or not, this is an all-encompassing, excellent article to begin the awakening process that begins the healing process.
Healing from Emotional Abuse - Speaks plainly and truthfully about the problem, which can be more detrimental when it happens inside the institutions that are supposed to represent love and safety.
The MEND Project, while faith-based, is primarily an education and healing project that does an excellent job of documenting the problem for identification. They now have a YouTube channel where copies of online lectures can be found, in addition to their main website. You may want to start with these two, excellent articles:
Trauma Bonding Explained - In faith-based relationships, the trauma bond feels even more impossible to escape from. Whether faith-based or not, this is an all-encompassing, excellent article to begin the awakening process that begins the healing process.
Healing from Emotional Abuse - Speaks plainly and truthfully about the problem, which can be more detrimental when it happens inside the institutions that are supposed to represent love and safety.
Moving Away from Judgment
Eckhart Tolle, who also has a YouTube channel, is one of the most gentle educators on the issue of the source of our suffering: The negativity in our own minds. Many gentle folk find comfort in his teachings.
Paula discovered that trauma can cause one's thinking to get "lost", and yet with clarity we can address our own thinking and find our way back home - to ourselves.
Negativity isn't the problem, for life is full of both positives and negatives that are as necessary to life as positive and negative numbers are to mathematics. Our thoughts, positive or negative, become toxic when we have primarily negative or primarily positive thoughts, or thoughts that cross the line into pathological judgment, or thoughts that we do not apply logic or compassion to. Examples of judgement come in the form of blame, chronic complaining, false guilt, etc. Pathological judgment is behind both suffering and the abnormal development of ego: Note that ego is power without intelligence, so ego is often needed to get an important, difficult job done, but should never be allowed in the driver's seat. I disagree with Tolle and others who think the ego should be killed. Ego is a natural part of being human, yet is ignorant power that must be wisely employed, but never put in charge. When we remain aware of reality, and discipline ourselves to avoid pathological judgment and avoid allowing our ego to be in charge, our suffering lessons, even ends. Sadness will always be a natural part of life, but suffering is what we do to ourselves and each other through pathological judgment and an ego-driven life.
Eckhart Tolle, who also has a YouTube channel, is one of the most gentle educators on the issue of the source of our suffering: The negativity in our own minds. Many gentle folk find comfort in his teachings.
Paula discovered that trauma can cause one's thinking to get "lost", and yet with clarity we can address our own thinking and find our way back home - to ourselves.
Negativity isn't the problem, for life is full of both positives and negatives that are as necessary to life as positive and negative numbers are to mathematics. Our thoughts, positive or negative, become toxic when we have primarily negative or primarily positive thoughts, or thoughts that cross the line into pathological judgment, or thoughts that we do not apply logic or compassion to. Examples of judgement come in the form of blame, chronic complaining, false guilt, etc. Pathological judgment is behind both suffering and the abnormal development of ego: Note that ego is power without intelligence, so ego is often needed to get an important, difficult job done, but should never be allowed in the driver's seat. I disagree with Tolle and others who think the ego should be killed. Ego is a natural part of being human, yet is ignorant power that must be wisely employed, but never put in charge. When we remain aware of reality, and discipline ourselves to avoid pathological judgment and avoid allowing our ego to be in charge, our suffering lessons, even ends. Sadness will always be a natural part of life, but suffering is what we do to ourselves and each other through pathological judgment and an ego-driven life.
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