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Off The Cuff

Take what works, discard what doesn’t.
We're all unique even though our basic needs are the same.

Freedom

4/26/2021

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Pleasant waves at the seashore on a sunny day
Image credit: Candixx via Pixabay
A long time ago, I entertained friends from a country most would agree allows no freedom. 

When they came to this country to study, they had a warped idea of what freedom means. Most of them got into trouble with alcohol, drugs, women, and the law. One suffered culture shock so severe that catatonia with foaming at the mouth struck - and did not dissipate until returned to his homeland whereby it magically evaporated. 

I cared about my friends - as I do all people - so I thought long and hard about how to explain to them that freedom does not mean free to do whatever you want. My friends could attest that being forced to obey is not freedom, either. Foreigners from restricted lands are not the only abusers of freedom, but they are the ones that made me think.

Somewhere, in the vast swath between wild and controlled lies the sweet spot called freedom that ebbs and flows like pleasant waves on a sunny day.

Freedom exists when we choose to avoid extremes like:
  • too little diversity and too much diversity
  • too few and too many
  • too strong and too weak
  • too passive and too aggressive
  • too secretive and too open
  • too critical and too agreeable
  • too lazy and too hardworking
  • too mindless and too mindful
  • too heartless and too heartfelt
  • ...

Freedom exists when we choose to moderate our own behaviors and attitudes so that no harm is done to any person, place, or thing.

Freedom exists when we choose to obey laws that make sense to an honest, fair, and peaceful society.

Freedom exists when we choose to negotiate our wants and needs honestly, fairly, and peacefully.

Freedom exists when we choose to keep our homes, offices, and bodies cleaned and maintained on a personal and global level, whether we rent, borrow, or own.

Freedom disappears when the sweet spot loses its pleasing waves and rises like a tsunami or stills like a swamp.

Freedom fades when people give up on being free.

What true anarchists want, ultimately, is a populace that chooses to be honest, fair, and decent so that there is no need for authoritarians, complex laws, or wasteful, energy-draining, broken institutions. 

Let us join together and choose freedom for one and all, in all ways, for all time.

This is my prayer.
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The Real Cause of Loneliness?

4/21/2021

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Cute, lonely-looking puppy
Image credit: PicsbyFran via Pixabay
Today's entry was motivated by a PsychCentral article on loneliness and, particularly in America, the death of platonic hand-holding between adults. That article is now gone, and I have to wonder if it touched a collective sore spot. If it did, all the more reason to talk about the problem.

​I’ve depth and breadth of experience in the loneliness parade of one. Therefore I will say what most will not.

One of the key factors contributing to the legit continuation of loneliness has to do with the toxic behaviors that first swamped governments before bleeding into every crack and fissure of our lives.

Once upon a time, a touch was innocent and pure, as was a need fulfilled. Today, touch and service have become sexualized. Sexualization is what the weak and valueless use to gain a false sense of power and control.

With two exceptions, I have not known touch as an adult that was not about sex or control. As a bodywork professional, touch is only about healing. But in my personal life, touch has never felt healthy or innocent. Flashback style and decades later, I still feel the confusion from the hand-holding by a female friend. I didn’t stick around for the end of confusion because I already knew what the likely answer would be, and I didn’t want it.

I wanted the pureness of healthy intimacy that comes from both touch and frequency that has nothing to do with power or control. I don’t think this purity exists anymore. And that is exactly why we need to make it happen if we want to end the loneliness epidemic that is far more deadly than this corona pandemic.

I don’t claim to know how to make it happen, but I have had enough experience with the toxic to know that you must be both assertive to the point of blunt and also clear and tough as bulletproof glass.

We must hug - and show in every hug that it is about love and connection between friends, neighbors, and guests - and nothing more.

We must hold hands in public - and show with every swing of the arms that it is about love and connection between friends - and nothing more.

​We must reciprocate and initiate equally and frequently - and be clear as a pavlovian bell that it is about love and connection between decent human beings - and nothing more.

Fight loneliness by being brave and blunt on all fronts. Beat back all attempts at power and control, especially through sexualization, as if your life depends on it - because the quality of all our lives does depend on it.
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Online Appointment Booking for Massage Therapists - A Review of 18 Sites

4/7/2021

 
Picture
This review will no longer be kept up-to-date except for valid links, although there is still value to it if one is interested. Post-pandemic, this therapist returned to old-fashioned, hands-on booking. Some things, like small, intimate businesses, maybe ought not be automated.

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    Author

    I have the intelligence to know I am stupid, and the arrogance to experiment. Both are key scientific values.

    Goal

    To express solution-oriented arguments toward a healthier self and world.

    Insights

    We can live without our thinking brain, but will die without our emotional brain.  Listen to those first emotions, for the body never lies. Then do thoughtful diligence, because we often lie to ourselves.​
    ---
    No 'system' is corrupt;

    each employee either does the most and best they can, or they choose to do the least they can get away with. 
    ---
    No technology is bad, each person who uses it chooses to behave or not within it.
    ---
    If we agree upon and prioritize a single core value, like integrity, everything we say and do would reflect that value, even as time, technology, and circumstances change.
    ---
    If we apply, for example, polarity physics to social communications and transactions, we would recognize the importance of balancing the best of both liberal and conservative aspects, instead of knee-jerking from one unbalanced extreme to another like a free radical.
    ---
    Emotions are vital yet never an adult's excuse for responding immaturely. Instead, see emotional spikes, whether positive or negative, as a sign to slow down, backup, and proceed with informed caution or a change in direction.

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Repairing the human body since 2003

Ms. Mae helps your body heal itself through innovative connective-tissue-cleansing bodywork and no-nonsense education.

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Paula Mae, LMT
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The word 'massage' denotes Ms Mae's innovative connective tissue therapies led by expert palpation for noticeable before and after results, and derived from  professional training in: Swedish medical massage, Neuromuscular (NMT), Trigger Point, Massage Cupping, Reflexology, Acupressure, Shiatsu, and Smooth Gua Sha. She also employs vibrational therapies from dense to subtle like: Tok Sen (hammer massage) and BioSyntonie.​
  • Appointments
  • Praise
  • FAQ
  • About:
    • Paula Mae, LMT
    • Appointment Prep
    • Office Policies
    • Available Sessions
    • Paula's Massage Therapy
    • Palpation
    • Osteo Therapy
    • Connective Tissue Therapy
    • Trauma Informed Care
    • Biosyntonie
    • Tok Sen
    • Gua Sha
    • Massage Cupping
    • Foot Reflexology
    • EMF
    • Products Used: >
      • Herbals
      • Miracle II
  • Help
  • Thoughts