How TV and Film Taught Me Philosophy

Image credit: Prettysleepy via Pixabay

I used to get sick, often, growing up in my family home. I spent most of my sick days home alone. There were none of the fun shenanigans like in the film, Home Alone! Daytime TV and the couch were it. My options were game shows and soap operas. Except for The Price is Right, I opted for soap operas. I wasn't the typical child any more than I am the typical adult.

I lived my romantic dreams through Luke and Laura - the famous couple from General Hospital. Unlike most soap characters, Luke and Laura were better at the relationship thing. Almost everyone else managed to mess with Luke or Laura.

​You know how sports fans shout at the TV during competitions? Well, I shouted at the TV during my soaps.

"If you had just told the truth, up-front, all this CRAP you are going through and putting everyone else through wouldn't be happening!"

​"If you want something from someone, ask first! Earn it! Why are you lying and conniving to get what you want when it could have been given to you?"

I didn't involve myself much in plots or story lines. For me, it was about understanding the reasons for so much drama. Then, I wanted to know how to make the drama go away. I wanted everyone to be happy and to get along.

I still watch TV shows and films the same way: I analyze the relationships, noting what works and what doesn't. I see characters acting unholy or sour and think, "Yuck, I would never want to be like that!" It took a bit more time to get there, but when I see characters acting holy and sweet, I think the same thing! Both feel eerily unnatural.

I wasn't aware of this quality-of-relating passion. I'm slow to learn about myself. Now, I see that it was always the core me.

​Back in my computing days, I was in charge of relationship databases. Then I was in charge of the online computer programs that managed the relationships between students and their courses. My biggest baby was managing the relationships between banking customers and banking products, across 17 banks in a tri-state area. And for the last 17 years, I've been studying the only tissue in the body that turns out to be - a relationship organ.

There are relationship rules within fascia that determine whether one gets sicker or healthier. It is not a coincidence that these rules apply everywhere relationships exist.

Those that didn't hate me for it, admired me for my computer programming prowess. I know that sounds beyond arrogant, but I promise you, it's an ordinary fact. I worked at least three times faster with far fewer mistakes. My programs rarely broke. My clients rarely complained. Things worked. I have a similar record outside of computers, wherever I am allowed to be myself.

I've never cared for watching the news or reading the rags - too much sickly drama. I left the church(es) for the same reason. But I observe society and my instinctive reactions, nonetheless. Then I measure them in my mind to see how close they come to perceived perfection.

Our societies are sick because our relationships aren't working. Yet in the struggle to rebalance, the majority knee-jerk from one end to the other. It reminds me of how most men adjust a thermostat: Too many degrees in either direction. Take parenting: We've gone from ignoring children to helicopter parenting. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as we learn the lessons embedded - and come to center.

We live in a dualistic world. We cannot escape it. We have a North Pole and a South Pole. Magnets have a positive and a negative charge. Life dies if we cut out one half of existence. Yet we continue to war at home, abroad, and within ourselves as if killing off the other half (of us) is the goal. Insane.

My goal is to find the relating-worthy sweet spot between all dualities. I seem to think I've found the answers. Not by reading all the research by all who have come before me. That's admirable, but often serves as both crutch and blinders. I've been swimming in the unholy, dramatic gutters all my life. My core intention: to learn and understand. I've learned from experiences few have had. I sought the answer by working from the outside in. And I'm audacious enough to speak up.

Stay tuned.