Off The Cuff
Take what works, discard what doesn’t.
We're all unique even though our basic needs are the same.
We're all unique even though our basic needs are the same.
... by anyone except for my father who was soon taken away and my grandmother who I wish had raised me. To exist with minimal conflict and to reduce the constant, harsh criticism, I learned to talk, talk, talk when in the presence of others, tell bold and bawdy jokes, and clam up on command. My goal upon high school graduation was to shed my past devoted to survival and live life on my terms, which meant bold integrity.
What I didn't know was that I wasn't built for boldness, I was built for quiet contemplation. When we live differently than how we are born to be, the body and mind eventually collapse from the strain. My collapse occurred, like many, during a personal, catastrophic event that sent me scurrying for answers. When you don't know what's wrong, the scurrying can look rather squirrel-like, yet synchronicity tends to play out at these times and I ended up reading The 10 Myths About Introverts out of sheer curiosity, because clearly I was an extrovert. I can still feel my face falling when I read those myths and kept saying, "Wait ... that sounds like me!?" How could I possibly be an introvert? That led me to Susan Cain's fabulously organized, researched, and compassionately written book, Quiet, and her Quiet Revolution. About one-third into the book she mentions that there are those who go through life masquerading as extroverts until such time, later in life, when some kind of crisis strikes and the inevitable crash-and-burn follows, because introverts are not born to extrovert their way through life without paying a high price. I was reading about myself and it rocked my sense and sensibility. Six years later, I am still peeling back the layers of false identities I wrapped myself in and discovering that deep down, indeed, there is still this quiet, shy around strangers, book-loving, and learning-loving observer who wants heart-centered touch and connection. What a homecoming. As I look at what we have become as a society, especially in our classrooms, offices, and governing institutions, I can see how much suffering there is as people are being criticized, underpaid, and undervalued unless they become who they are not: extroverted. It's just as wrong as forcing an extrovert to be introverted throughout their life in order to be deservedly paid and recognized. When we are done living the extremes, I look forward with joy to a sane return to center where people are allowed to be who they are with the only behavior and communication standard being one of integrity and respect for all, regardless. Regardless. Comments are closed.
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AuthorI have the intelligence to know I am stupid, and the arrogance to experiment. Both are key scientific values. GoalTo express solution-oriented arguments toward a healthier self and world. InsightsWe can live without our thinking brain, but will die without our emotional brain. Listen to those first emotions, for the body never lies. Then do thoughtful diligence, because we often lie to ourselves. Archives
October 2024
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