How to Make Any Relationship Work by Creating The Right Atmosphere

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This is part two of a two-part series. If you missed part one: What is a relationship? Why does how we relate matter?

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is a convenient place to start. We can get those needs satisfied, ourselves. At each level, I give examples of ordinary effort that will help make any relationship work. These efforts help create an atmosphere that nourishes good will. There’s nothing complex here. Easy peasy here we come …

Physiological Needs
My partner likes a clean home, and so do I. It’s where we do our most important living and relating. So, when we pick up after ourselves and help each other keep our home clean, we both win - and grow closer. We also choose to view our chores as something we want to do because it is for our benefit. Besides, when accomplishment is a result of effort it feels good when the job is done.

Safety Needs
We must earn our living. We want to be happy at work. So, we support and encourage each other toward satisfying jobs or careers. Insecurities can arise in anyone, so voluntarily responding to texts, emails, and requests in a timely manner is reassuring. Letting people know where we are and how long we will be is reassuring. Voluntarily, happily offering reassurance is an act of empathy and love and satisfies our human need to feel safe.

Belonging and Love Needs
Giving each other our undivided attention whenever we are in the same room together. Having dinner or a conversation? Happily put away the phone. If one of us is working/cleaning/struggling? The other offers to help. If someone doesn't want help? We respect every no with grace. We care and respect each other's feelings, struggles, and points of view. We see mistakes as opportunities to learn. We encourage mistakes as opportunities to laugh together. IF we tease, it is with affection and to help lighten the moment. We recognize that trying to be cool is a cover for a closed or hurting heart. We'd rather be real than cool.

Esteem Needs
Appreciate each other's differences by getting to know the why behind them. Share your whys. Speak up about your intentions. Don't keep secrets. Don't order each other around - voluntarily ask and offer. Recognize each other's strengths. Comment kindly when you see them in action. Not every time, but just often enough. Give each other the freedom and space for hobbies, self-care, timeouts, and reflection.

Self-Actualization Needs
We each have a better chance of reaching self-actualization when the people in our lives regularly behave as described, above. When we all do our part to share, care, and contribute, we have given ourselves the greatest thing: Freedom. Freedom from preventable hurt feelings, fear, and insecurity - to say the least.

Nothing exists except how we relate to every person, place, or thing.
We can cultivate healthy relationships by being considerate of others equal to ourselves. Consideration for only self is unhealthy and unsustainable. Consideration for only other is unhealthy and unsustainable. Willingly become deft at consideration of self and others. It is the best way to getting where we say we want to go in life: Toward a better future.